Today’s Green Guide in The Age has an excellent list of “The rules of TV in 2012.”
Writers Daniel Burt, Paul Kalina, Elmo Keep, Craig Mathieson and Andrew Murfett have come up with some pearlers that apply to our televisions -both in what we see on screen and the way networks handle them.
I’ve listed their rules here but you should read the article in full for more detail:
In every reality show, there must be a hero and villain.
There must be a recap at the beginning and end of every segment in every Australian reality franchise.
If you are Channel Nine and your big reality franchise fails, put on Big Bang Theory.
Soap operas after dark.
Zooey Deschanel proves that dorks can be hot but it helps if you’re also hot.
If you promise to solve a mystery in one season, don’t end the series on a cliff-hanger.
Great Australia drama is produced all the time but it screens only on pay TV.
Telemovies aren’t going away any time soon.
The more you like a show, the less likely it is to start on time.
When in doubt, bring back Andrew Denton.
Two shows don’t go into a single timeslot.
Networks ignore the internet at their peril.
Satellite interviews should always end awkwardly as we wait for both parties to say goodbye.
Actors interviewed on talk shows must always be uncertain of what clip we are about to see.
Success in the US doesn’t guarantee success in Australia.
Australia frequently makes better incarnations of overseas reality franchises.
We don’t want to wait.
We’d rather be anywhere but here right now.
The woman on a panel must laugh at a man’s joke, even if it’s not funny.
TV viewers on a Friday or Saturday night don’t necessarily want to watch men kicking a ball or improving a house.
Every week, television will be the source of a new outrage.
Morning weather presenters have no shame.
Summer TV is crap because the networks presume we are outside (which we are because summer TV is crap).
What other ones have they left out?