Big fat cross promotions on Big Brother

Big Brother sure is taking advantage of the chance to promote other Nine shows, and it’s letting the housemates do the work.

Recently it screened the first episode of House Husbands to the housemates in the house, telling them they were the first people anywhere to see the drama (media had already seen the episode, but never mind). TEN had also previously screened TEN programmes and movie nights to housemates in earlier seasons of BB.

But last night Layla was given a “gypsy wedding dress” made of 65 metres of fabric. Tomorrow night Nine premieres the UK reality series Big Fat Gypsy Weddings directly after BB. Coincidence?

Even Stacey said, “You look like My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.” Cheers for that.

So in the spirit of the current season, TV Tonight freely offers the series the following cross-promotion tasks for consideration:

• Estelle, Zoe, Angie and Ava sit in big red chairs and spin around as Michael and Benjamin attempt to sing power ballads from the 80s.
• Layla flashes her boobs in slow-mo while Bradley and Sam dress up like gangsters. Adding a driving soundtrack suddenly makes it switch from gratuitous to arty.
• Benjamin dresses up like a shonky builder who has fumbled the construction of the BB house, avoiding an interrogation from investigative reporter, Stacey. Benjamin and Stacey always go together.
• Zoe and Michael compete against Ava and Angie to makeover the Captain’s Quarters with some help from a hardware sponsor. Ends with a fake auction where nobody buys it but everybody watches anyway.
• Joshua dresses up like a game show host and puts the other housemates in the Diary Room chair to ask them trivia questions. When they get it right he locks in their answer. If they get it wrong he gives them more time and repeatedly asks “Are you sure?” until they eventually lock in the right one.
• Stacey, Estelle and Zoe swoon over Farmer Michael after a series of blind dates, but they eventually fall for Delilah the dog instead.
• All the boys host a fake breakfast show where the boys make blokey jokes and the girls sigh indignantly wishing they would stop, but refusing to actually confront them on the issue.
• Bradley, Michael and Sam host a cool show about cars that has everyone spellbound until it is moved around the house so many times nobody can find it anymore and eventually everyone just walks away. Show is eventually palmed off to Surly the Fish who will probably do a better job of it anyway.
• Benjamin assembles all the housemates around a tribal fire at the pool for a fake reality show about castaways. But by the time he gets around to telling the first evictee they have been eliminated, all the other housemates tell him they already heard the result 2 weeks ago.
• Joshua, Sam, Layla and Stacey dress up like Texan millionaires and their wives, acting out a soapy script. After three episodes they chuck away the costumes but forget to tell the housemates the show is over.
• Bradley is given a hedge to fund but it dies like a withering vine as Layla and Joshua decide whether to put the hedge into receivership.
• Sonia films a commercial about a reality show that promises not to cast young attention seekers who all want to hook up, and then does her best to try and hook them up. Oh wait…