Remembering Max Morrison

Veteran comedy writer Mike McColl-Jones, who wrote for Graham Kennedy, Don Lane and Bert Newton at GTV9, has written TV Tonight a piece on the late Max Morrison, famed staging manager, who passed away last week.

It’s a lovely insight into the talents of a man who worked at Nine for 40 years and the way television was made in the glory days.

When I started at GTV-9, one of the first phrases I learned was “Don’t worry – Max will fix it”.

And “Fix it” he did – countless times, for thousands of shows.

Max could fix anything from a “cream pie” (for throwing) to the most elaborate (and lethal) “flash-pot” (an explosive device).

Max never used cream in cream pies (He said the cream curdles when it hits the skin…so he used shaving cream)….and his “flash-pots” were legendary,

He once packed one with so much gunpowder, it blew Graham Kennedy’s hat off.

One of the first things Max would teach a new crew member was how to walk on a studio floor. Believe me, there is an art to it.

Max’s earliest working days were spent serving in Australia’s navy…..from there he progressed to behind the scenes in theatre….in particular, J. C. Williamson’ Her Maj, and The Princess theatre.

He joined GTV-9, the home of live TV in Australia, and learned the ropes from Jimmy Alexander – the man whom he succeeded.

As head of staging, Max was responsible for all the crews who worked the shows.

They set scenery (in the days when it was set and removed manually), set up comedy sketches, and so many other tasks.. I can still hear his shrill voice “Come along girls mark and strike!”.

Max looked after all the curtains you saw on your favourite shows. They were either hanging up in the grid, or stored somewhere in Melbourne.

I remember looking for a particular type of curtain once and Max knew exactly where it was hanging in Melbourne.

When IMT moved to the much larger Studio 9, a lot of the scenery was flown in.

Such was Max’s creativity, he could make impossible props that we required for comedy (usually at an hour’s notice).

Things like a “breakaway table”, A washroom towel dispenser that would fly up the wall, or a “flash-pot” inside a gigantic jelly.

These were simply a “stroll in the park” for Max. Nothing ever beat Max……..well……..not quite correct. There was the “drop-box” incident.

It was during the run of The Don Lane Show when we ran a promotion in conjunction with “TV Week”.

We had nearly 50,000 entries and Max came up with the idea to put all the entries in a specially constructed wooden box, suspend it 20 metres in the air, and employing our special guest from America, Debbie Lesner, have her hold a small net under the box to catch the winning entry as it fluttered down, and all would be good.

No. All was not good…..none of us realised how heavy 50,000 entries would be, and no matter how anyone tried, no one could make the box open.

The scene was chaotic……Don was pacing up and down yelling at Max…….Peter Faiman, the director was shouting at Max though his headphones…..I might mention….Don’s instructions to Max were exactly the opposite to those Peter was yelling.

Bert was milking the situation for all it was worth….the crew and audience were in hysterics……and our guest from America was more than slightly confused.

This segment lasted nearly half an hour (it was scheduled to last five minutes), It was such big news around Australia that Melbourne’s evening newspaper “The Herald” the next day featured a picture of Max and his “drop-box” on the front page. This turned into one of the funniest live moments ever on Australian TV.

Max was a welcome regular to drinks after the show in either Graham’s caravan, or the dressing room

One night, world famous Australian illusionist, Les Levante agreed to appear on IMT. He was to perform his “disappearing doves” routine. He did it……much applause, and Graham invited Les to have a drink after the show.

Max dropped in for a drink, and over many great vaudevillian stories, Max asked Les how he did the “doves” routine.

Les suddenly jumped up, yelled “Shit” and rushed down the prop bay. He’d forgotten to release his doves and they’d been in a “yoga position” for over three hours.

There are hundreds of “Max Morrison” stories……I am proud to have known and worked with “Mr Fix It” through so many great shows.

Max, it was a delight to work with you, but more particularly – just to know you.

Love,
Mike.

PS: Max, I suggest you give the “drop-box” a miss this time.