Dance Your Ass Off

By David Knox on July 20, 2009 / Filed Under Programming, Reviews 45

dance-your-ass-off-1It’s not often I’ve reviewed something without getting to the end of it, so this review on Dance Your Ass Off at least deserves that qualification.

But I figure, if Nine isn’t going to take things seriously, why should I?

See how long you can last on this one. It’s absolutely excruciating.

Including the host.

Kerry, time to start rolling.

0.5_starsDance Your Ass Off airs 7:30pm Tuesday on Nine.


  1. catherine November 23, 2010 at 3:51 pm -

    I bet no one here could have the guts to do this
    but what the heck do i know all the people on here would never have the guts to do this
    the only exercise they get is the fingers bending
    i wish i could get on
    plse come back dance your ass off

  2. Porscha August 4, 2009 at 10:39 pm -

    I am so glad they have a show on where fat people get to do something other than be bossed around by trainers and forced to follow fitness regiments they won’t be able to follow once back at home and are put in a situation where the food is there, but so are the nutritionists and the excercise equipment is there, but so is the couch. They have a fun and exciting way to lose weight and we get to see the diversity of a new type of dance show on t.v. which showcases the ability of the people who the narrow minded can’t stand to see as competition.

  3. franz chong July 26, 2009 at 4:35 pm -

    Coming to think of it Episodes of Cheers from the Kirsty Alley Era onwards wouldn’t be a Bad Option.

  4. franz chong July 22, 2009 at 10:54 pm -

    Shows like this will never work.

    They could do the sensible thing get it off the air and replace it with Cheers or some other family friendly programming given the time of night.

    Who here remembers Al Bundy Married With Children Stories about the fat lady came into a Shoe Store could easily apply to this show trash.

  5. Michael July 22, 2009 at 10:29 pm -

    And channel nines new show, coming soon.
    ‘last viewer watching’

  6. franz chong July 22, 2009 at 2:43 pm -

    I am picturing this.7:30pm Married with Children or Cheers or even better yet they put on Millionaire Hot Seat.

  7. Andrew B July 22, 2009 at 2:00 pm -

    Waiting for the story under programming entitled: Gone: Dance Your Ass Off. Returning: 20-1 at 7.30pm

  8. Mike July 22, 2009 at 12:22 pm -

    Did you know that Nine is coming up with a show called “Vote the Ass Off” where they take the programmers at Nine and reveal week by week the decisions that they have made?

    The programmer who has the best ratings gets voted off – for spoiling the perfect train wreck.

    There is a spinoff version in the planning to see who can destroy a show that is performing and replace it with one that costs more and rates less.

    It’s true, I swear!

  9. franz chong July 21, 2009 at 4:49 pm -

    I would rather be at the local library catching up on some reading at the same time this is shown or doing exercises at the fitness centre.

  10. Sam July 21, 2009 at 2:50 pm -

    Who actually approved this show at Nine? Are they still there?

  11. Jason July 21, 2009 at 2:28 pm -

    Tuesday for Nine is like an indicator of the general health of the network, it seems for the past two years Tuesday nights have become Nine’s gonzo night, stuff like this, Wipeout, Ladette to Lade, Moment of Truth, 20 to 01, whatever weird ‘can’t look but can’t look away’ television they can find they cram onto this night!

  12. PT Ryan July 21, 2009 at 1:55 pm -

    I’m salivating in anticipation of Catherine Deveny tearing it a new one in coming days, but David, that review was hilarious!

  13. cpandilo July 21, 2009 at 12:40 pm -

    I hope Air Ways, Surf Patrol & Talkin’ ’bout Your Generation thump this tonight.

  14. Tracey July 21, 2009 at 11:28 am -

    I agree with Andrew B.. My kids are astonished as am I. It’s like the choice of how we raise our kids is being taken from us. It should at least be on late at night and the advertisements should cease. If this kind of thing is what we can expect on television from now on.. i’d be happy to throw the tv in the bin!

  15. DAN July 21, 2009 at 10:24 am -

    David you were far to kind to this show it didnt deserve half a star it desverved – 5 stars

    what a shame masterchef still isnt going because this show might have been thumped by 2 million viewers

  16. Andrew B July 21, 2009 at 9:51 am -

    David, you need to be able to give reviews something like -3 out of 5! half a star seems just too much.

  17. Andrew B July 21, 2009 at 9:50 am -

    The more I think of this, the more I think of it as an insult to the intelligence of the public by 9 for even thinking this show will work.

  18. Jezza of the city July 21, 2009 at 8:09 am -

    Q. Are the ch 9 programmers receiving secret payments from 7&10 or are they just determined to destroy their own channel?

  19. vid July 21, 2009 at 12:31 am -

    oh god!!!
    what is gong on at nine!!!!

  20. Kuttsywood July 20, 2009 at 11:01 pm -

    I’m expecting this to be yanked off, half way through, and we’ll get a ep of 2 and a Half Men… or a episode of Cheers! (thank you Doug Mulray!)

  21. bindi July 20, 2009 at 10:57 pm -

    my dad still watches heaps of channel 9, including 2.5 men and 20 to 1 (despite me trying to make him stop), but even he thinks this show is ridiculous. when i first saw the ad i thought it was a joke, i thought i was watching channel 7 and it was an ad for double take or something, just the tone of the ad seems like even they don’t think we should watch it. you really do have to wonder what the hell is going on in channel 9 management, do they actually believe viewers will watch this or do they really want to see this channel completely collapse. if they genuinely believe it is what we want it might be time to consider involuntary admission to a psychiatric facility because that is seriously delusional.

  22. Benno July 20, 2009 at 10:41 pm -

    I’m guessing it will last 2 weeks. The real question is whether they will push it to 10.30 onwards, or scrap it entirely. Given that nine has so many shows (which could have been aired instead of this garbage, as David can testify) in the cupboard with unaired episodes, i’m guessing the latter.

  23. Camo July 20, 2009 at 8:54 pm -

    ummmm…how much is pay TV again?

  24. Sharpy July 20, 2009 at 6:24 pm -

    Can we take bets on how quickly the axe will fall?

  25. Paull July 20, 2009 at 5:35 pm -

    and yet they get rid of half decent shows like Trouble in Paradise and You saved my life after a couple of weeks.

    Nonetheless, I’m picturing a 20 to 1 repeat 730pm next tuesday

  26. Tim July 20, 2009 at 4:34 pm -

    And I thought my job was bad….
    Hope you had a sick bucket when you watched this one David.

  27. gg July 20, 2009 at 3:44 pm -

    i reckon they’ll get more viewers if they air THIS afternoon in this timeslot.

  28. Someone BBBA July 20, 2009 at 2:28 pm -

    Mmmm. She’s got a nice badunkadunk.

  29. George July 20, 2009 at 2:13 pm -

    I’ve watched some of the clips on youtube, and not only does the host make me want to rip my eyes and ears out, the dance routines and costumes don’t leave much to the imagination and make me feel pretty seasick, and whoever they’ve used for the music tracks should be fired because they destroyed so many songs. Did you hear how they did Just Dance? It was horrible!

    I think the half star is too generous David. I’d give the show 0/5. It’s not excruciating, it’s torture. I feel sorry for anyone who watches this show.
    I reckon Talkin’ ‘Bout Your Generation may go up by about 500k when this airs..

  30. Daniel G July 20, 2009 at 11:50 am -

    I still think your one-word “a-p-p-a-l-l-i-n-g” for “Michael Jackson: King of Pop” was your best scathing review yet, David!

  31. Michael July 20, 2009 at 11:34 am -

    Been on this site this morning, and wow comes to mind for several stories, but this wow is not a positive wow.
    So here it is wow

  32. salf July 20, 2009 at 11:31 am -

    half a star. in a generous mood david?

    at least shows like homeMADE and trouble in paradise even if no one watched them, had a decent critical response to justify their place on air. i don’t think i have heard anything positive about this show from anywhere. why are they airing it? let alone in a very important timeslot.

    i am predicting one of 9’s lowest rating shows ever! sub 600k.

  33. Brodie July 20, 2009 at 11:23 am -

    ouch, half a star! Now I have to tune in just to see how bad it is.

  34. Ben July 20, 2009 at 10:38 am -

    Call me crazy, but I have watched all the performances on youtube of the first episode and yes it is trashy but it is actually quite good. They aren’t that bad and you can definitely see that there will be a transformation throughout the show as they drop the kilo’s.

    Give it a try at least, I think you will be surprised. It’s a bit of fun!

  35. mac July 20, 2009 at 10:35 am -

    doubt this will be on for very long.

  36. David Knox July 20, 2009 at 10:33 am -

    Earthquake: Lowest review rating yet. Half a star for absolute nerve.

  37. scottstar7 July 20, 2009 at 10:07 am -

    “Kerry, time to start rolling.”
    Most genius thing I’ve ever read on this site.
    I tip my hat to you, sir.

  38. Jed July 20, 2009 at 9:59 am -

    LOL that bad huh?

  39. Dean July 20, 2009 at 9:50 am -

    I saw the ad for this and it looks absolutely horrible. How do these things ever get to our tv screens?

  40. Benno July 20, 2009 at 9:37 am -

    Well the show was designed for a very small, niche audience. I found an article (TV By The Numbers) which said it was the highest rating premiere in the network’s history, however this means nothing to us because the audience is so niche and the audience numbers don’t even come close to any other show which hits our shores. There is no way a broadcast network would touch it. Oh wait…

  41. Jimmy July 20, 2009 at 9:08 am -

    lol i might just watch to see how bad it really is, if even you couldn’t finish!

  42. Andrew B July 20, 2009 at 8:23 am -

    And the fact they promote the show in Funniest Home Videos – a show my 3 year old watches and loves is enough to turn me off 9 for good – is the word “ass” now suddenly appropriate for kids? Let alone part of the title of a prime time show on what used to be Australia’s top network. Come tho think of it one, day there was a promo before Humphry as well. Their trash and ads for same will lose what little family appeal is left for kids shows as well.

    Honestly, who do they think is going to watch this stuff? Leave this crap for Foxtel amongst similar shows and niche audiences on Arena and the like.

  43. Earthquake July 20, 2009 at 7:42 am -

    Ouch. Half a star? David, have you ever given no stars at all?

    Nine is really moving down the “trash tv” route with this and other shows.

    I won’t be watching it.

  44. Adam Richard July 20, 2009 at 7:28 am -

    While I love trashy reality tv, I don’t trust Channel 9 to still be showing this come time for the finale. I don’t want to be up at 1am to catch the final weeks.

  45. Scott July 20, 2009 at 6:33 am -

    I may watch this just for the train wreck value.

    It seems to be such an odd programming decision. Yes, other dance shows have been popular and yes, at least one weight lost show has similar support, but it seems very odd to combine the two by purchasing some cheap US cable import and putting in in primetime.

    The desperation (or perhaps resignation?) at the Nine network is now almost palpable.

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